What I've Been Reading:'My Sister's Keeper' by Jodi Picoult

After reading 'Sing You Home' by Jodi Picoult earlier this year, I knew I would eventually read another one of her books. When I found a copy of 'My Sister's Keeper' for £2 in a local charity shop, I couldn't resist and started reading it straight away. The following day I'd reached the final page and was kind of sad to close the cover on the world I'd immersed myself in so completely.

Anna Fitzgerald is thirteen years old. All she wants is to live her life but part of being her means that in a way, she also has to live her sister's life. Unlike most people she knows, Anna wasn't just a happy accident, she was the result of a fertilisation process that involved selecting the embryo that was the perfect match to give her sick sister Kate the stem cell transplant that might just save her life. The result? While not being sick herself, Anna has undergone multiple medical processes throughout her short life, ranging from donating stem cells after her birth to bone marrow donation several years later. Now her parents want her to donate a kidney to her sister. But how long can this process go on for? How long can Anna keep being a donor for her sister?

Anna takes her case to hotshot lawyer Campbell Alexander, who agrees to represent her in her lawsuit. Anna has decided to sue her parents for medical emancipation. Aged thirteen, she believes it is time she has the last word when it comes to her body and helping her sister.

'My Sister's Keeper' tackles an issue that is very prevalent in the media, an issue that many people will have strong opinions on. But she tackles it with incredible sensitivity, showcasing perfectly the two sides of the coin, the pros and cons of conceiving one child to save another. This novel was beautifully written, kept me gripped throughout and had me both laughing and crying at various points. 

As with the last Picoult novel I read, I fell in love with the characters. In this case, mainly Anna and Campbell. Anna is the perfect know-it-all kid, a child wise beyond her years and heavy with social and familial responsibility. And Campbell is just a sarcastic weirdo - his excuses for why his Service dog Judge accompanies him everywhere get more and more random as the story progresses (my personal favourite is 'I have SARS, he helps me keep track of how many people I've infected') - who really managed to touch my heart. 

I'd recommend this to anyone who enjoys a good soppy read with plenty of courtroom drama. 

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'Sharp Objects' by Gillian Flynn

I've wanted to read Gillian Flynn's debut novel pretty much since it was released in 2009 but as so often happens, I just never got round to it. Until I stumbled across it in the Amazon Kindle Summer Sale for £1.99 and decided that was too good an offer to pass up. I devoured the book in a matter of days and while it's been a couple of weeks since I finished it, I still can't quite get the characters out of my head.

Chicago newspaper journalist Camille Preaker has just been assigned the most difficult job of her career. There's been a nasty child murder in her home town of Wind Gap, Missouri and Camille's boss wants her to head back into her past and get the full story. But Camille's hometown is full of ghosts, memories of pain, sadness and loss. Going back there may not be the best idea.

Triggered by the death of her young sister Marian when she was thirteen, Camille began carving her grief into her skin. Now, aged 32, she's finally put the self harm behind her but the visible memories remain. Camille's skin is covered in words, cut into her skin as an addictive form of self expression. Only one spot on her body remains free from words - a tiny circle of skin on her lower back that she had been unable to reach. But once she's back in Wind Gap, there's more than the words on her skin to remind Camille of her troubled past. There's her mother Adora to do that. Not to mention being surrounded by the High School cliques she grew up with and who seem stuck in the past, re-enacting their School days in an adult setting. As Camille comes to realise, nothing ever really changes after High School. We just get older.

But Camille has more to battle than her new proximity to her mother and thirteen year old half-sister Amma. She has her job to contend with. Two gruesome murders have plagued Wind Gap. Two pre-teen girls have been killed and their teeth pulled out. Who would do this kind of thing? Surely it must be someone from out of town, some drifter with a penchant for cruelty? I mean, no Wind Gap resident would ever kill one of their own, would they?

As Camille delves deeper into the mystery of the murdered girls, she finds herself sucked into her old life. Her troubled relationship with her mother is slowly re-emerging and the strangely Lolita-esque Amma is sending out confusing signals. What exactly does she want from Camille?

This is more than your simple Crime novel. This is a psychologically taut and emotionally deep novel. It's not afraid to touch on the more traumatic elements of family life and that's what I liked most about it. Camille is a complex character (one of my favourite kinds of character) with an even more complex history. And the relationship that she and her sister Amma have with their mother is incredibly disturbing and psychologically intriguing. 

This is one of the best crime novels I've ever read and Camille is definitely one of the best narrators I've read so far this year. I'd love to read a sequel that shows where Camille is now and how she's doing with her life. I'd recommend this novel to anyone who likes psychologically taut drama. And as you've probably guessed, I'm giving this a 5/5.

What I've Been Reading:'World Enough and Time' by Emma C. Williams

But at my back I always hear
Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.

'To His Coy Mistress' ~ Andrew Marvell







'World Enough and Time' by Emma C. Williams was 'recommended' to me by Goodreads.com based on some books I'd read previously. The premise fascinated me and, seeing that I had it on my 'to-read' shelf, the author contacted me asking if I would like a copy to review. Of course, I accepted, and here we are...

Anna Jones is your typical 15 year old. Intelligent, sensitive and feisty she's got a lot going on. Firstly, there's Michael, a close friend who she'd like to be closer to, then there's the fiasco she's gotten herself into with her RE teacher and a badly phrased opinion. But the biggest thing going on in Anna's life right now is the build-up to an operation she's been waiting a lifetime for. An operation that could change her life completely.

You see, Anna has Goldenhar Syndrome, a genetic condition that prevented one side of her face developing at the same rate as the other. As a result, her face is severely asymmetric,  one half of her jaw is underdeveloped causing complex structural problems. Anna is also almost completely blind in one eye and has less than perfect hearing in one ear. She also has scoliosis of the spine as a result of her condition. And yet Anna does not let any of this get her down.

At fifteen, she's already gone through a lifetime of medical procedures, examinations and orthodontic devices but finally it is time for the operation of all operations. An eight hour procedure to transplant bone from one of her ribs into her jaw and hopefully make her face more symmetrical. Anna hopes that the procedure will allow her to live life in the same bubble of uncertainty that others do. There won't be any more over-friendly shop-keepers trying to show that they don't care how she looks, there won't be any more kids pointing and asking their parents what is wrong with her, and maybe, just maybe, Michael might find her attractive enough to date.

'World Enough and Time' is a beautiful novel. Told from Anna's point of view we get an exquisitely crafted and insightful look into the mind of a fifteen year old who just wants to live her life without prejudice. Unusually for a novel told from the point of view of a teenager, I really did feel like Anna was talking to me directly, as though the author had channelled Anna and was relaying her thoughts on to the page. Anna did not feel fictional. She felt thoroughly 3D, a fully developed character who I could really care about and wanted to spend time with. In fact, I didn't want the novel to end as I wanted to spend more time with Anna and her friends and I'd be happy to read an entire series of books devoted to Anna Jones. (Thankfully, I've discovered that Anna has her own blog! I'll definitely be checking that out.)

This novel taught me a lot. Not just about Goldenhar Syndrome, which I'd heard of before but didn't really know a lot about, but also about life in general. It taught me that no matter what we think of ourselves, no matter how hard it can be for us to believe that other people will ever find us beautiful, there will always be those who hold us up when we're down and see the beauty that hides within us. It made me pause for a moment in my own navel gazing and contemplate how different and more complicated my own life could be.

This is one of the best Young Adult novels I've read in the last couple of years and I want to urge any YA fans out there to get their hands on a copy and everybody else to buy a copy for any teenage girl in their life. 

5/5 - a firm new favourite.

What I've Been Reading:'Saint Jude' by Dawn DeAnna Wilson

"No one expects you to make any sense. That gives you the freedom to be creative. It's like for the rest of us the world is a black and white TV show. For you, it's a Disney cartoon."

This is one of those books I've stumbled across when browsing Amazon for cheap / free Kindle titles. The slightly eerie cover image drew me to the book and the blurb pulled me in further so I hit that lovely little 'buy now' button.

Saint Jude's is a way-station for troubled teens. Specialising in adolescent mental illness, the group home takes in upper middle class teenagers like Taylor, whose Mom can no longer handle her Bipolar diagnosis. Taylor's lucky. The only experience she has of Psychiatric facilities is the plush ward on the fourth floor of a private hospital, and now the "family" environment of Saint Jude, governed by Big Daddy, the teens therapist and Big Momma, a sort of housekeeper, come psychiatric nurse.

The teens are all dealing with their own problems: bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, and yet their lives have become entwined, they've been forced together by the stigma of mental illness and the pain they each feel inside their own fragile minds. Isolated from the "real world" the teens tick along, riding the waves of their mental disorders waiting to turn sixteen so they can leave. 

Until Dalton arrives. A replacement for Big Daddy, Dalton is a breath of fresh air in the stale therapeutic environment and he attempts to turn the teens lives around with shall we say non-traditional techniques and a new approach to therapy. 

Meanwhile, as Taylor begins to grow closer to the charismatic Blaine, she puts her own recovery on the line to become the person she thinks he wants to be. And when he leaves Saint Jude's for good, the fine thread that had been holding her together finally breaks.

This novel encompasses the darkness of a mental illness diagnosis and the brightness of recovery. It's a must-read for anybody going through a similar situation or really for anybody who just likes a bloody good teen protagonist and a plot that deals with strong, heart-wrenching issues without simply skimming the surface.

4/5 - purely because the copy I read could have done with some editing and grammatical tweaks.

What I've Been Reading:'The Panopticon' by Jenni Fagan

This is one of those books I'd read lots of good things about. It had high praise from some brilliant writers and I was really desperate to read it. However, as usual, that means that I was also reluctant to start reading it. I didn't want to be disappointed. I didn't want my high expectations to come crashing down. And now I feel really stupid and wish I had read it much sooner. Because this book was awesome.

At fifteen years old, Anais Hendricks has been through a hell of a lot. Born in a psychiatric facility to a schizophrenic mother, she is a lifer - a child who has been in the care system since birth and due to circumstance and behavioural issues can be expected to move from a care home to the prison system as an adult. There was a brief time in her childhood when things looked good for Anais. She had a loving adoptive Mother, who despite coming with her own set of issues, was a good Mum, providing Anais with a lively and educated upbringing. But things turned sour and Anais found herself back in the system, bouncing from one group home to the next and getting herself into a whole host of trouble in the process.

We first meet Anais in the back of a police car en route to the Panopticon, a care home for chronic young offenders. Anais knows why she's heading there - everybody thinks that she tried to murder a policewoman. What she doesn't know, is whether she is guilty. Yes, there's blood on her school skirt but she was far too off her face on various drugs to remember what she may or may not have done.

What follows is her journey through the trials and tribulations of proving her innocence, as well as trying to figure out who she really is when she has no idea where she really came from. There are a lot of really cool ideas in this book linking to identity that show just how important it is to our sense of self to know who our family are and how we came into the world. Being uncertain of her origins has led Anais to the belief that she was created by 'the Experiment' as a sort of study. She believes that the Experiment are continuously watching and monitoring her and that her life is nothing but one huge investigation into the human mind.

I loved the character of Anais, she's a girl you can really identify with. She's strong-willed, passionate and has an inner strength that a lot of us could really learn from. She doesn't let all of the shit she's gone through define her and she's so brilliantly clever and astute that you just want to get inside her mind and really rummage around in there until you find the answer to the meaning of life.

This novel tackles a lot of issues: the care system, sexuality, self harm, suicide, rape, murder, drug use, HIV, mental illness plus a lot more that I just can't even label. It's a fabulous, heart-wrenching, enlightening book and I would recommend it to anyone who has room for a troubled teen protagonist in their heart.

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'The Moth Diaries' by Rachel Klein

A copy of this novel has sat languishing on my book shelves for the last few years. I bought it, attracted by the stunning cover, started it straight away and then got distracted and put it on my shelf un-read. It might just have stayed that way if it wasn't for the fact that my other half got hold of two free tickets to see the film adaptation. I'm one of those people who absolutely hates to see the film of a book without having read the book first and so the day before we were due to see the film, I grabbed my copy of this book, curled up on the sofa and read all 256 pages in one sitting, barely pausing to look up.

'The Moth Diaries', as you might have gathered by the title is presented to us in diary form, an interesting concept that really works with the premise. The story opens with a kind of foreword, the now adult diarist giving us a bit of background to the diary she kept as a sixteen year old girl. She admits that she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder complicated by depression and that her Psychiatrist has requested her permission to publish the tormented ramblings of her formative years. We never actually learn the identity of the girl we come to know so well. She is nameless to us and yet it doesn't hinder the story at all.

The diary opens at the beginning of a new school term. The sixteen year old narrator attends an exclusive all girls boarding school which over the past few years has become more of a home to her than the home she has shared with her Mother since her poet father killed himself. School is where Lucy, her best friend and secret obsession resides. Home has become the suite she shares with Lucy. But all that is about to change with the arrival of new girl Ernessa Bloch.

Ernessa is a mysterious addition to their world. Pale, foreign and a total loner, she is at odds with the world of school. But Lucy is drawn to her. Sweet, innocent Lucy who can't see the bad in anybody is sucked into Ernessa's world. But since Ernessa arrived on the scene, strange things have been happening. Death and destruction seem to plague the school and our narrator is convinced Ernessa is at the heart of it. She becomes obsessed with the idea that Ernessa Bloch is a Vampire.

But do Vampires really exist outside of the macabre stories she has been reading for her English class, or has her fevered imagination run rampant? We don't really find out and I'm reluctant to say too much in case it spoils the story for any of you who wish to read it. I will say however, that for me, 'The Moth Diaries' was psychologically taut, a brilliant painting of mental torment and teen angst. There were some lines that were incredibly poignant, that reminded me a little of my own teenage years.

It was a great read, an amazing little journey inside the mind. I'd recommend it to anybody who likes Psychological Horror with a dash of teen angst.

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'Rage' by Stephen King writing as Richard Bachman

“When you're five and you hurt, you make a big noise in the world. At ten you whimper. But by the time you make fifteen you begin to eat the poisoned apples that grow on your own inner tree of pain.” 

'Rage' was the first novel published by Stephen King under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. It's a deviation from his typical Horror novels but that doesn't make it any less horrifying. Published in 1977, it was withdrawn from publication by Stephen King in the late 1990s due to it's connection to a number of real High School shootings, 'Rage' recounts the story of Charlie Decker, a teenage boy pushed to the limits by his father and society itself and shoots two teachers before taking a classroom full of students hostage. 

But 'Rage' is more than just the story of a High School shooting. It is an examination of society, of teenage culture. While Charlie holds his school friends hostage, we get a glimpse at the ennui of teenage life, and as they sit in the classroom, waiting for Charlie to let them go or take their lives (we are never quite certain in which direction Charlie will go), they take turns at analyzing their lives, the things they have done, wish they hadn't done. They pick apart their connections to each other, the childhood experiences that made them who they are. And it becomes apparent that perhaps Charlie Decker isn't as crazy as he might seem, that this isn't simply a murder spree. Instead, this forced coming together of a group of teenagers who might otherwise fail to give one another the time of day is a teaching exercise. Charlie is showing these angst-ridden teenagers that it's not too late to take control, to right the wrongs done to them by others.

This novel is fairly philosophical, it raises a lot of questions and doesn't pose too many answers. It's a shame that it is no longer in print as I think it's a pretty enlightening piece of fiction. Although I can understand why it was withdrawn from sale. If you do want to read the book, it can be found in the Amazon.co.uk marketplace for a couple of pound as part of the Bachman Books collection.

3/5

What I've Been Reading:'Paper Towns' by John Green

This is the first novel by John Green that I've read (I know, I'm a little behind the trend but oh well) and I am definitely planning on reading some more of his work. 

I was initially attracted to the beautiful cover art of this novel. I'm a sucker for a good cover and this one really caught my eye. Plus, I fancied an indulgent Young Adult novel, something that would suck me in and keep me absorbed. This was exactly what I wanted.

Quentin "Q" Jacobsen is mere weeks away from graduating High School. He's got a place at a decent College lined up and his life seems to be on-track, well as much as it can be when you're eighteen years old and trying desperately to avoid the horrors of your High School Prom. And then one night, the mysterious and beautiful Margo Roth Spiegelman, the next door neighbour he's loved since he was a child, waltzes in through his bedroom window and whisks him off on a tour of the neighbourhood to complete a series of pranks she has lined up for her cheating boyfriend and his entourage.

And then, just like that, Margo is gone. She doesn't turn up for school the next day or the day after that. There is no note, no phone call, no explanation whatsoever. Margo has simply vanished, leaving a trail of mystery behind her. Knowing that on previous escapes from her suburban life, Margo has left clues as to her whereabouts (the letters M, S, P, and I left uneaten in a bowl of Alphabet Soup), Q and his friends begin a search of Margo's life for any possible clues.

But when it comes down to it, did Margo really want to be found? Did she really expect Q to find her? And just who is Margo anyway? As he creeps around her life, following the paper trail that Margo has left for him, Q begins to doubt that he ever knew the real Margo, the Margo she is inside her heart. And as he gets closer to finding her, he must reconcile the two version of Margo Roth Spiegelman and what they mean to him.

This was a beautiful, deep read. Once again, and I know it's a theme with the Young Adult titles I'm reading lately, I really wish this novel had been around when I was a teenager myself. The characters are exquisite, especially Margo, who is secretly the girl I wanted to be at eighteen and failed. And the idea of paper towns is cleverly worked into the plot and imbued with such subtle meaning (I don't want to go into detail on what paper towns are because it's a crucial plot point and I hate spoilers!). I adored this book and want to re-read it, want to see if there are any little details I missed, or cleverly inserted foreshadowing that would be identified only on a second read.

If you like a cute little mystery and 3D characters that will stay in your mind, then check this out. You won't be disappointed.

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'Love, Aubrey' by Suzanne LaFleur

I'm not usually a big reader of Children's fiction but the cover of this book grabbed my attention and I couldn't resist taking it down from the shelf to take a closer look. The premise sucked me in and I found myself heading to the till and paying for the book. And I'm really glad I had a little uncharacteristic browse of the Children's section of a local book store.

'Love, Aubrey' is aimed at children aged 11 and over but it seems to be a world apart from the novels around when I was that age. I remember fluffy books about babysitters and cheesy horror stories that weren't even intended to be scary. I remember casting aside kids books for teenage (Young Adult wasn't even a genre back then lol) novels that had a bit more substance and some grittier story-lines that my teachers and the school librarian didn't approve of. Things have obviously changed a lot since I was 11 (is it really 16 years ago??) and while reading 'Love, Aubrey' I found myself wishing that this novel had been around for my younger self to read. Because I know that geeky little loner would have adored this book.

Eleven year old Aubrey is alone. At first she thought it would be fun living on her own, buying her own groceries and eating whatever she wants for dinner. But then it started to get a little scary. She knows what her Mom did is wrong but all she wants is for people to understand, to not get mad at her mom because it really isn't her fault. A couple of months ago, Aubrey's dad and little sister Savannah died in a family car accident. As the only survivors, Aubrey and her Mom attempted to live their lives, to get up each morning and go on. But Aubrey's mom couldn't handle it. Aubrey's mom began to get more and more distant until one day she just left. And now Aubrey has to face life alone.

And then Gram turns up, certain that something is wrong. It must be if nobody is answering the phone. After a few days of unsuccessful searching for her missing daughter, Gram decides the best thing to do is take her granddaughter back North with her, keep her safe until everything sorts itself out.

Reluctantly, Aubrey is forced to live again, to get up each morning, to talk to people, to go to school, to move beyond the pain of the accident, the loss of her family. And she begins to find happiness in the most unlikely of places. But when her mom finally turns up, Aubrey's going to have a decision to make. Go home or stay with her new extended family?

I read this 256 page novel in one sitting, not even pausing to make myself a drink or eat lunch. From the first page I was sucked into Aubrey's world, her thoughts and her fears. I found myself remembering what it was like to look through the eyes of an eleven year old in an adult world. There were plenty of moments where I had a lump in my throat and a couple where I actually shed a tear. The last book that moved me in such a way was 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'. As a child, I don't remember a book ever making me cry and I can't help but wonder whether this novel would have the same emotional effect on an eleven year old as it did on this 27 year old reader. Part of me thinks the perspective of adulthood might be what makes this story so poignant, so heart-wrenching. This book has found a special place in my heart and will remain on my bookshelves until my future children are old enough to read it. 'Love, Aubrey' is a classic in the making.

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'Forgotten' by Sarah J Pepper

Okay, so I didn't finish this book. I don't know if it's just that I'm not in the right mood for it or what but I just found that I wasn't as sucked into the story as I'd hoped I'd be.

The premise sounds great and the protagonist Winnie is pretty cool - a foster kid with psychosomatic visual problems, she sees her world in blurry shades of grey. And yet I just couldn't seem to keep track of what was going on. I felt almost as though I'd stepped into the middle of an on-going series and I should already know what Winnie's visions were about and what kind of supernatural being Jace was. I'm guessing all this stuff will become clear as the plot progresses but I'm a need-to-know-now kind of gal and I like things to at least make a little bit of sense to me.

I probably would have been more inspired to keep reading if the book had been more thoroughly edited. As it stands, I'd say that it could probably do with at least another proof-read and redraft. There were multiple grammar and syntax errors and sentences that didn't make sense. I almost began to get a sense of how it must feel to be dyslexic and have the words seemingly re-arrange themselves on the page.

I think my gay-ness may have also got in the way of me enjoying this book more. I'll admit that I kind of got fed up of hearing about how fit Jace is, about his muscles and the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt. Don't get me wrong, heterosexuality in fiction is not a problem for me but I found it irritating in this case (kind of like the whole topless Jacob thing in the Twilight books...).

Anyway, it's not that this is a bad book. It's just that it's not my kind of book. I'll probably re-visit it in the future with fresh eyes and a clear mind and see how it goes because despite how I feel I really do want to find out what's going on with Jace and the big guy that follows him round.

What I've Been Reading:'Sing You Home' by Jodi Picoult

This might possibly be my favourite read of this year so far. 'Sing You Home' is the first of Jodi Picoult's novels that I've read, she's just not a writer who is on my radar, you know? But a couple of months ago two of the women I work with were discussing this novel and the subject seemed close to my heart. And so I tracked down a copy and put it straight on my must-read list. I expected to leave it languishing on my bookcase, un-read for months but the subject matter just kept calling to me and I couldn't resist starting it. And I'm so, so glad that I did.

Music therapist, Zoe Baxter is desperate for a baby. It's the one thing she has always known will make her feel complete. And yet she has struggled through fertility problems, failed IVF, miscarriages and stillbirth. When Max, her husband of nine years divorces her, citing irreconcilable differences as the cause for the dissolving of their commitment to each other, Zoe is distraught. Her whole life has been turned upside down and she doesn't know how she is going to start over.

Until she meets Vanessa, a Guidance Counselor at the local High School. First as friends and then as lovers, Zoe and Vanessa can't imagine life without each other. They are the missing parts of each other. And yet there's only one thing missing in their perfect relationship. A child. Three frozen embryos left over from Zoe and Max's last round of IVF could hold the answer to fulfilling Zoe's dream of motherhood. But when your ex-husband has joined a gay-bashing Evangelical church, how do you convince him to let you raise his un-born child with your new lesbian wife?

Jodi Picoult immerses her reader in a world where being who you are means being hated, where falling in love can mean changing your whole perspective on life and your identity. She opens up the hidden world of the lesbian marriage and lets those on the outside see just how difficult it can be when your lifestyle will never be the accepted norm. She paints a tale of two very strong women, fighting for justice, for the family that others would deny them. And she doesn't hold any punches.

This novel had me close to tears at so many points. Not only did I identify with Zoe and Vanessa on such a personal level, but I also had a strong connection with the character of Lucy, a suicidal, depressed teen who Vanessa and Zoe are trying to save, to turn around through guidance and music.

There's something for everyone in this book and I swear you'd have to have a heart of stone if the story didn't resonate on some level, didn't bring a tear to your eye or a gasp to your throat at some point. I'll definitely be checking out more of Jodi Picoult's books in the future.

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'Heart-Shaped Bruise' by Tanya Byrne

Firstly - Oh. My. God! 

I read this novel in what was literally one sitting - several hours curled up on the sofa unable to release the book from my death-grip. When my partner came home from work, I carried on reading, practically ignoring her until I'd turned the last page.

Emily is... well actually there are two Emily's. There is the Emily that the tabloids have declared Evil and there's the Emily who pours out her heart in a diary night after night as she attempts to come to terms with what she has done.

Emily is a resident of the Psychiatric wing of Archway Young Offender's Institute. She is awaiting trial but everybody knows who she is and for Emily there's no doubt that she is guilty. The daughter of infamous London Gangster, Harry Koll, everybody is scared of Emily. And with reason. She was the one who ruined a girl. She is the one who did something 'Evil' and unforgiving purely to destroy 16 year old Juliet, the girl who stabbed her father.

Through a notebook found in one of the rooms after the Institute was closed, we get the chance to see into the crumbling mind of Emily as she pieces together her story, the fragmented reality of how she ended up behind bars.

The tabloids have labelled Emily Evil, the product of a Mobster family. But until the night Juliet stabbed Emily's father in self-defense after he'd murdered her own father, Emily had no idea that her dad was more than a mechanic. The tabloids however, would never print the story of how her whole world tumbled down around her ears that night, how her innocent eyes were opened to her father's murderous ways. The tabloids and the public only want to see what Emily did to hurt Juliet.

Tanya Byrne opens up the world of a Young Offenders Institute and candidly shows us the inside of a mind struggling to grasp the pain she has caused and the pain she is feeling.

We're not supposed to like Emily so much as come to understand her. But as I was reading I grew fond of this tortured teenager and wanted her to find some kind of personal resolution. I wanted her to find hope.

It probably helped that I saw a lot of myself in Emily. I don't mean that I'm capable of the things Emily did. It's just that so much of what she thinks and feels resonated with me. I wish I'd had this book as a teen. It's up there with 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' in terms of gripping, heart-wrenching, compulsive reading. I adored it.

5/5

What I've Been Reading:'Carrie' by Stephen King

I'm probably one of the few people in the world who has never seen the 1976 film version of 'Carrie'. But I'm not naive enough that I'm not aware of the story. Everyone knows that the menstrual euphemism "taking Carrie to the Prom" is a reference to a blood-soaked Sissy Spacek. And yeah, I had a pretty good idea of how the plot ends. 'Carrie' is such a huge piece of pop-culture that it's hard to avoid it. So basically, I came to this novel with some prior knowledge and yet I was still floored by the book.

I think that's probably Stephen King's major talent. His novels are never simple, they always have some substance to them. I think what really surprised me when reading 'Carrie' is how much of Stephen King's voice and story-telling technique is present in his first published novel. I was expecting it to stand out a bit, to be a little less polished, a little less, well Stephen King-ish. The narrative was suitably dis-jointed, jumping from one Point of View to another, interspersed with articles from magazines and extracts from scholarly books. The way that King presents Carrie White's story, it's easy to believe that this girl really did exist, that the terrible events at the Prom and afterwards really did happen. And that's what I love about Stephen King and this novel especially, you never have cause to question the reality of his supernatural elements. They simply are.

Carrie White dreams of going to the Prom. She just wants to be your average teenager. But with a religion-obsessed mother and no friends, she is lonely, vulnerable and the perfect target for the school bullies. Her classmates, her teachers, even her Mother, all beat Carrie down. And those that don't are blind to the events, to the hatred and the acts of violence going on around them.

But quiet, mousy Carrie can't be your average teenager because she's no average girl. She hides a terrible secret. She has the power of telekinesis. She can make things happen with the power of her mind. And the more the bullies try to weaken Carrie's reserves, the more her power builds inside her. Until, as the bullying reaches a horrifying climax so does her inner strength and she unleashes her telekinetic power on those who caused her pain.

This is a liberating novel. For anybody who has been bullied, Carrie's explosion on Prom night is kind of like the daydreams you'd hold close to your heart as the taunts rained down on you. Who hasn't wanted to destroy those who try to destroy them? And that's one of the most endearing things about this novel. We've all been in Carrie White's shoes. We've all experienced the horror of repression, of people trying to hold us back. Deep down we all just want to be accepted, to fit in, to be loved. We all have our own version of Prom Night, that thing we're yearning for and feel we'll never get to experience. Carrie gives substance to our own teenage experiences. She embodies our own morbid fears.

And that is probably what I love most about Stephen King - his ability to write characters that get under your skin and stay there. I wish I'd been exposed to this novel as a meek, vulnerable teenager who needed validation, who needed somebody to identify. I think I would have seen something of poor Carrie in myself. And it would have let me dream.

Rating - 4/5 

What I've Been Reading:'The Perks of Being a Wallflower' by Stephen Chbosky

'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'

 "I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this"

~p100

This is my new favourite book. I've been meaning to read it for a while now and just haven't got round to it until yesterday (yes that's right, I read this book in less than 24 hours. It really was that good!) I really wish that I'd read it years ago, that this book had been around when I was fifteen and struggling with all the crap that comes with being a teenager. As it is, it still seems to have come into my life at the perfect time. A lot of the stuff running through Charlie's mind, a lot of the things he is thinking and feeling, a lot of his observations on life and family and the craziness of the world around him seem to eerily mirror my own current reflections.

I read this novel with a lump in my throat and un-shed tears blurring my vision. I haven't connected with a novel on such a level since I first read Elizabeth Wurtzel's 'Prozac Nation' when I was sixteen. When I turned that last page and closed the cover on the characters and their story, I was sad to leave it all behind. And seriously tempted to start again from the beginning. I'm certain I will do at some time in the near future. Charlie's story just resonates with me too much to leave it un-visited for too long.

As with many of my favourite books, I'm going to be reluctant to watch the film version of this book. The characters are so alive in my mind, their individual quirks and mannerisms so real to me that I don't think I'd be happy with however they're portrayed on film. But I'm sure my curiosity will get the better of me at some point.

This novel gets a 10/10 from me. And I urge you to go out and buy it and read it right away. I hope Charlie sparks something in you as much as he did for me.