I've wanted to read Gillian Flynn's debut novel pretty much since it was released in 2009 but as so often happens, I just never got round to it. Until I stumbled across it in the Amazon Kindle Summer Sale for £1.99 and decided that was too good an offer to pass up. I devoured the book in a matter of days and while it's been a couple of weeks since I finished it, I still can't quite get the characters out of my head.
Chicago newspaper journalist Camille Preaker has just been assigned the most difficult job of her career. There's been a nasty child murder in her home town of Wind Gap, Missouri and Camille's boss wants her to head back into her past and get the full story. But Camille's hometown is full of ghosts, memories of pain, sadness and loss. Going back there may not be the best idea.
Triggered by the death of her young sister Marian when she was thirteen, Camille began carving her grief into her skin. Now, aged 32, she's finally put the self harm behind her but the visible memories remain. Camille's skin is covered in words, cut into her skin as an addictive form of self expression. Only one spot on her body remains free from words - a tiny circle of skin on her lower back that she had been unable to reach. But once she's back in Wind Gap, there's more than the words on her skin to remind Camille of her troubled past. There's her mother Adora to do that. Not to mention being surrounded by the High School cliques she grew up with and who seem stuck in the past, re-enacting their School days in an adult setting. As Camille comes to realise, nothing ever really changes after High School. We just get older.
But Camille has more to battle than her new proximity to her mother and thirteen year old half-sister Amma. She has her job to contend with. Two gruesome murders have plagued Wind Gap. Two pre-teen girls have been killed and their teeth pulled out. Who would do this kind of thing? Surely it must be someone from out of town, some drifter with a penchant for cruelty? I mean, no Wind Gap resident would ever kill one of their own, would they?
As Camille delves deeper into the mystery of the murdered girls, she finds herself sucked into her old life. Her troubled relationship with her mother is slowly re-emerging and the strangely Lolita-esque Amma is sending out confusing signals. What exactly does she want from Camille?
This is more than your simple Crime novel. This is a psychologically taut and emotionally deep novel. It's not afraid to touch on the more traumatic elements of family life and that's what I liked most about it. Camille is a complex character (one of my favourite kinds of character) with an even more complex history. And the relationship that she and her sister Amma have with their mother is incredibly disturbing and psychologically intriguing.
This is one of the best crime novels I've ever read and Camille is definitely one of the best narrators I've read so far this year. I'd love to read a sequel that shows where Camille is now and how she's doing with her life. I'd recommend this novel to anyone who likes psychologically taut drama. And as you've probably guessed, I'm giving this a 5/5.
"No one expects you to make any sense. That gives you the freedom to be creative. It's like for the rest of us the world is a black and white TV show. For you, it's a Disney cartoon."
This is one of those books I've stumbled across when browsing Amazon for cheap / free Kindle titles. The slightly eerie cover image drew me to the book and the blurb pulled me in further so I hit that lovely little 'buy now' button.
Saint Jude's is a way-station for troubled teens. Specialising in adolescent mental illness, the group home takes in upper middle class teenagers like Taylor, whose Mom can no longer handle her Bipolar diagnosis. Taylor's lucky. The only experience she has of Psychiatric facilities is the plush ward on the fourth floor of a private hospital, and now the "family" environment of Saint Jude, governed by Big Daddy, the teens therapist and Big Momma, a sort of housekeeper, come psychiatric nurse.
The teens are all dealing with their own problems: bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, and yet their lives have become entwined, they've been forced together by the stigma of mental illness and the pain they each feel inside their own fragile minds. Isolated from the "real world" the teens tick along, riding the waves of their mental disorders waiting to turn sixteen so they can leave.
Until Dalton arrives. A replacement for Big Daddy, Dalton is a breath of fresh air in the stale therapeutic environment and he attempts to turn the teens lives around with shall we say non-traditional techniques and a new approach to therapy.
Meanwhile, as Taylor begins to grow closer to the charismatic Blaine, she puts her own recovery on the line to become the person she thinks he wants to be. And when he leaves Saint Jude's for good, the fine thread that had been holding her together finally breaks.
This novel encompasses the darkness of a mental illness diagnosis and the brightness of recovery. It's a must-read for anybody going through a similar situation or really for anybody who just likes a bloody good teen protagonist and a plot that deals with strong, heart-wrenching issues without simply skimming the surface.
4/5 - purely because the copy I read could have done with some editing and grammatical tweaks.
This is one of those books I'd read lots of good things about. It had high praise from some brilliant writers and I was really desperate to read it. However, as usual, that means that I was also reluctant to start reading it. I didn't want to be disappointed. I didn't want my high expectations to come crashing down. And now I feel really stupid and wish I had read it much sooner. Because this book was awesome.
At fifteen years old, Anais Hendricks has been through a hell of a lot. Born in a psychiatric facility to a schizophrenic mother, she is a lifer - a child who has been in the care system since birth and due to circumstance and behavioural issues can be expected to move from a care home to the prison system as an adult. There was a brief time in her childhood when things looked good for Anais. She had a loving adoptive Mother, who despite coming with her own set of issues, was a good Mum, providing Anais with a lively and educated upbringing. But things turned sour and Anais found herself back in the system, bouncing from one group home to the next and getting herself into a whole host of trouble in the process.
We first meet Anais in the back of a police car en route to the Panopticon, a care home for chronic young offenders. Anais knows why she's heading there - everybody thinks that she tried to murder a policewoman. What she doesn't know, is whether she is guilty. Yes, there's blood on her school skirt but she was far too off her face on various drugs to remember what she may or may not have done.
What follows is her journey through the trials and tribulations of proving her innocence, as well as trying to figure out who she really is when she has no idea where she really came from. There are a lot of really cool ideas in this book linking to identity that show just how important it is to our sense of self to know who our family are and how we came into the world. Being uncertain of her origins has led Anais to the belief that she was created by 'the Experiment' as a sort of study. She believes that the Experiment are continuously watching and monitoring her and that her life is nothing but one huge investigation into the human mind.
I loved the character of Anais, she's a girl you can really identify with. She's strong-willed, passionate and has an inner strength that a lot of us could really learn from. She doesn't let all of the shit she's gone through define her and she's so brilliantly clever and astute that you just want to get inside her mind and really rummage around in there until you find the answer to the meaning of life.
This novel tackles a lot of issues: the care system, sexuality, self harm, suicide, rape, murder, drug use, HIV, mental illness plus a lot more that I just can't even label. It's a fabulous, heart-wrenching, enlightening book and I would recommend it to anyone who has room for a troubled teen protagonist in their heart.
5/5
A copy of this novel has sat languishing on my book shelves for the last few years. I bought it, attracted by the stunning cover, started it straight away and then got distracted and put it on my shelf un-read. It might just have stayed that way if it wasn't for the fact that my other half got hold of two free tickets to see the film adaptation. I'm one of those people who absolutely hates to see the film of a book without having read the book first and so the day before we were due to see the film, I grabbed my copy of this book, curled up on the sofa and read all 256 pages in one sitting, barely pausing to look up.
'The Moth Diaries', as you might have gathered by the title is presented to us in diary form, an interesting concept that really works with the premise. The story opens with a kind of foreword, the now adult diarist giving us a bit of background to the diary she kept as a sixteen year old girl. She admits that she suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder complicated by depression and that her Psychiatrist has requested her permission to publish the tormented ramblings of her formative years. We never actually learn the identity of the girl we come to know so well. She is nameless to us and yet it doesn't hinder the story at all.
The diary opens at the beginning of a new school term. The sixteen year old narrator attends an exclusive all girls boarding school which over the past few years has become more of a home to her than the home she has shared with her Mother since her poet father killed himself. School is where Lucy, her best friend and secret obsession resides. Home has become the suite she shares with Lucy. But all that is about to change with the arrival of new girl Ernessa Bloch.
Ernessa is a mysterious addition to their world. Pale, foreign and a total loner, she is at odds with the world of school. But Lucy is drawn to her. Sweet, innocent Lucy who can't see the bad in anybody is sucked into Ernessa's world. But since Ernessa arrived on the scene, strange things have been happening. Death and destruction seem to plague the school and our narrator is convinced Ernessa is at the heart of it. She becomes obsessed with the idea that Ernessa Bloch is a Vampire.
But do Vampires really exist outside of the macabre stories she has been reading for her English class, or has her fevered imagination run rampant? We don't really find out and I'm reluctant to say too much in case it spoils the story for any of you who wish to read it. I will say however, that for me, 'The Moth Diaries' was psychologically taut, a brilliant painting of mental torment and teen angst. There were some lines that were incredibly poignant, that reminded me a little of my own teenage years.
It was a great read, an amazing little journey inside the mind. I'd recommend it to anybody who likes Psychological Horror with a dash of teen angst.
5/5
I'm not usually a big reader of Children's fiction but the cover of this book grabbed my attention and I couldn't resist taking it down from the shelf to take a closer look. The premise sucked me in and I found myself heading to the till and paying for the book. And I'm really glad I had a little uncharacteristic browse of the Children's section of a local book store.
'Love, Aubrey' is aimed at children aged 11 and over but it seems to be a world apart from the novels around when I was that age. I remember fluffy books about babysitters and cheesy horror stories that weren't even intended to be scary. I remember casting aside kids books for teenage (Young Adult wasn't even a genre back then lol) novels that had a bit more substance and some grittier story-lines that my teachers and the school librarian didn't approve of. Things have obviously changed a lot since I was 11 (is it really 16 years ago??) and while reading 'Love, Aubrey' I found myself wishing that this novel had been around for my younger self to read. Because I know that geeky little loner would have adored this book.
Eleven year old Aubrey is alone. At first she thought it would be fun living on her own, buying her own groceries and eating whatever she wants for dinner. But then it started to get a little scary. She knows what her Mom did is wrong but all she wants is for people to understand, to not get mad at her mom because it really isn't her fault. A couple of months ago, Aubrey's dad and little sister Savannah died in a family car accident. As the only survivors, Aubrey and her Mom attempted to live their lives, to get up each morning and go on. But Aubrey's mom couldn't handle it. Aubrey's mom began to get more and more distant until one day she just left. And now Aubrey has to face life alone.
And then Gram turns up, certain that something is wrong. It must be if nobody is answering the phone. After a few days of unsuccessful searching for her missing daughter, Gram decides the best thing to do is take her granddaughter back North with her, keep her safe until everything sorts itself out.
Reluctantly, Aubrey is forced to live again, to get up each morning, to talk to people, to go to school, to move beyond the pain of the accident, the loss of her family. And she begins to find happiness in the most unlikely of places. But when her mom finally turns up, Aubrey's going to have a decision to make. Go home or stay with her new extended family?
I read this 256 page novel in one sitting, not even pausing to make myself a drink or eat lunch. From the first page I was sucked into Aubrey's world, her thoughts and her fears. I found myself remembering what it was like to look through the eyes of an eleven year old in an adult world. There were plenty of moments where I had a lump in my throat and a couple where I actually shed a tear. The last book that moved me in such a way was 'The Perks of Being a Wallflower'. As a child, I don't remember a book ever making me cry and I can't help but wonder whether this novel would have the same emotional effect on an eleven year old as it did on this 27 year old reader. Part of me thinks the perspective of adulthood might be what makes this story so poignant, so heart-wrenching. This book has found a special place in my heart and will remain on my bookshelves until my future children are old enough to read it. 'Love, Aubrey' is a classic in the making.
5/5
This might possibly be my favourite read of this year so far. 'Sing You Home' is the first of Jodi Picoult's novels that I've read, she's just not a writer who is on my radar, you know? But a couple of months ago two of the women I work with were discussing this novel and the subject seemed close to my heart. And so I tracked down a copy and put it straight on my must-read list. I expected to leave it languishing on my bookcase, un-read for months but the subject matter just kept calling to me and I couldn't resist starting it. And I'm so, so glad that I did.
Music therapist, Zoe Baxter is desperate for a baby. It's the one thing she has always known will make her feel complete. And yet she has struggled through fertility problems, failed IVF, miscarriages and stillbirth. When Max, her husband of nine years divorces her, citing irreconcilable differences as the cause for the dissolving of their commitment to each other, Zoe is distraught. Her whole life has been turned upside down and she doesn't know how she is going to start over.
Until she meets Vanessa, a Guidance Counselor at the local High School. First as friends and then as lovers, Zoe and Vanessa can't imagine life without each other. They are the missing parts of each other. And yet there's only one thing missing in their perfect relationship. A child. Three frozen embryos left over from Zoe and Max's last round of IVF could hold the answer to fulfilling Zoe's dream of motherhood. But when your ex-husband has joined a gay-bashing Evangelical church, how do you convince him to let you raise his un-born child with your new lesbian wife?
Jodi Picoult immerses her reader in a world where being who you are means being hated, where falling in love can mean changing your whole perspective on life and your identity. She opens up the hidden world of the lesbian marriage and lets those on the outside see just how difficult it can be when your lifestyle will never be the accepted norm. She paints a tale of two very strong women, fighting for justice, for the family that others would deny them. And she doesn't hold any punches.
This novel had me close to tears at so many points. Not only did I identify with Zoe and Vanessa on such a personal level, but I also had a strong connection with the character of Lucy, a suicidal, depressed teen who Vanessa and Zoe are trying to save, to turn around through guidance and music.
There's something for everyone in this book and I swear you'd have to have a heart of stone if the story didn't resonate on some level, didn't bring a tear to your eye or a gasp to your throat at some point. I'll definitely be checking out more of Jodi Picoult's books in the future.
5/5
It’s such a dangerous place to be! Inside my mind. It flips and turns like the waves of the sea. It is sometimes gentle but other times it’s like the sharpest rocks from the bottom find me and hurt me. They prick at the skin.
~ Hannah Dee
I'll admit that I skimmed over some of the poetry in this book. Not because it wasn't good but simply because poetry wasn't the reason for me reading this book. After being diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, I found myself in a strange position. I felt as though nobody could understand the pain I was feeling and the random thoughts that haunted my mind. It was scary.Discovering this memoir made me realize that I'm not alone, that there are others out there suffering with the same disorder. It made me feel understood. As I read, I found myself highlighting passages that specifically resonated with me. I was nodding along with what I was reading, sure that Hannah Dee had read my mind before writing this book. I felt such a connection with what she said that I could hardly believe it.This is a must read for any BPD sufferer or indeed their partner, parent or friend. It's a journey into the dark mind of the disorder. It's painful yet passionate and I know I'll be keeping it to hand to re-visit whenever I feel myself slipping.
